...that's what I said to my husband about three weeks ago, as we sat together, cried, and held each other upon learning that his Mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 ovarian cancer.
At the time, I was putting together my workshop for Two Peas, in its the final stages, my hand was still recovering from gouging it with a glass after falling - which I still can't feel one of my fingers from. He was up to his eyeballs in work after having this boss leave just a couple weeks earlier, and all the responsibility was put on his shoulders - working 15 hours a day if not more. Commuting 4 hrs a day, and dealt with a plethora of new challenges to oversee.
We cried; held each other, and in those moments, I felt closer to him than ever.
Now, a little time has passed. The sting has worn off, a little, about the news of his Mom's illness. Now we are in "wait and see" mode to learn how her chemo is working after this first round is wrapped up in about a month's more time.
We pulled ourselves together, put on strong faces, and plowed through those 2 weeks of torture, between our family news and work related issues. It was a time when we should have been celebrating the new adventures in our future, instead we were just trying to scrape by, and "make it" through.
I don't often share a lot of personal stuff here on my blog, mostly because I try to live a pretty happy, non-momentous, stress and drama free life. In other words, it's pretty boring, and that's just the way I like it. I've been through enough drama in my life to last several, and I simply can't function with it.
So, now that the dust has settled from everything, I feel like I'm melting a little, and that's hard. It's always like that isn't it ? You always get through it, it's afterward that's the tough part.The emotions are strong, and I just want to hide under the covers until I feel better, until the sadness wanes.
I miss my husband who's job is taking over his life, I miss my Mom and my sister who are 3,000 miles away, I miss being connected with my family and friends from "home". I feel helpless being so far from my MIL, who I would love to be there for right now. And there's so much more....it just all sucks.
I know it will pass, as all sucky things that come up in life do. I am a glass is half-full person by nature, so I always try to see the other side of the rough patches in order ride them, knowing it will be alright in the end. Right now, it's just tough. I'm grateful for all that I have, don't get me wrong. Sometimes, life is just rough, for everyone. Bottom line is how you deal with it and recover from these bumps.
I recently read a quote that said, "You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it".
I like to think that is true.
This too, shall pass and great things are to come in this life, I know. I'm just plugging along right now . . .don't mind me. ;)