balance |ˈbaləns|noun1 :
def: an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady
I definitely have a tendency to be out of balance. I throw myself completely into whatever it is I am focused on at the moment, and I have trouble deviating from that thought process - until I throw myself into the next thing, that is.
My husband recently told me, during one of my emotional breakdowns (I have them about every two months) 'you need more balance in your life' - and he's right. I hold everything in, to a fault. I look calm, cool and I hope mostly collected, on the outside, but internally I've got a zillion things racing through my mind. When I hold everything in, it's a-okay until I finally explode emotionally on some given Saturday or Sunday when the hubster is finally home and we have an hour of time to ourselves. Grrr-eat. That makes for a nice evening, right?
Balance is so very difficult for me to envelope, though, because our circumstances are very out of balance. I'm essentially a say-at-home-single-mom during the week. My stress and anxiety levels sometimes feel through the roof. My husband is completely the opposite of me, thank goodness! He's completely un-affected - very much a go with the flow kinda guy. He is what 'balances' me. But over the past several years when he's been working in NYC, my counterbalance in him, is not here often enough for me to recover aptly. I find myself throwing myself into the kids lives, my creative life, my own thoughts, none of which are healthy or productive. So that's why I think 'balance' is the right choice for me this year.
I watched many people last year commit to a little word for the year. I watched. But I did nothing. This year, I am ready to take on 'balance' and challenge myself to CREATE balance in my life. And while I don't think it will be achieved with perfection - I hope to at least get this see-saw off the ground a bit in 2011. ;)
Are you committing to one little word for the year? If so, I'd love to hear it!
Thanks so much for stopping by!! Have a terrific Friday!